Sunset

 

December 31st, Sunday

I closed my eyes and inhaled a deep breath of fresh air. When I exhaled, I could feel strands of my hair flying with the wind as every last trace of tension left my body. My feet felt relaxed against the calm of river water. My son was splashing some on me, giggling so much my chest ached at not bringing him out for picnics more often. 

The gushing of water brought my buzzing thoughts to a standstill. In that moment I wasn’t bound by the baggage from my past, nor was the uncertainty of the future holding me back. In that moment, as I focused on the rhythm of my heart- I was living. 

The thought made me calm. I opened my eyes to see my son still playing with water. It was five minutes to sunset which I so eagerly brought my son to show. From the riverside, it looked delicious at the backdrop of a pinkish blue sky. The view was clear without any obstruction of skyscrapers. 

It was only a few blocks away and I was visiting it after fifteen years. It used to be my favourite place as a child. A pang of nostalgia hit me as I saw a flicker of myself on my son’s happy face. We held hands and sat still moments before expected sunset time when a sound caught my attention. It was so synthetic amidst the chirping of birds that I immediately grabbed my phone to silence it. I didn't have the liberty to dismiss the call though, instead I packed our picnic supplies and motioned for my son to get in the car. 

“But mommy, what about the sunset?”

“Next time, sweetie, next time for sure” 

The lie slipped smoothly out of habit.

***

"Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life"

- Dolly Parton